Pregnant stripper...not hot.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
