Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
