how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize