my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
