he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
