Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize