we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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