i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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