Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize