Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
