One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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