Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize