her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
