You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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