tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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