Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
