She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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