I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
