She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize