That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
