you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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