Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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