You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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