me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
