Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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