you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
