Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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