He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
