Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize