i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
