"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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