we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
