he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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