I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
