Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
