I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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