FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
