walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
