Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
