Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
