Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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