And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
