All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
