Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
