And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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