It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize