I'm drive I can fine osifer
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
