Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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