he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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