her vagine was all disorganized.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
