I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
