I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
