I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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