i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
