I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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