the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
