Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We were destined to go to rehab together
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
