So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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